Biblical Legalism & The Abuser

15 Feb 2010


Doug’s’ Viewpoint


Biblical legalism creates a safe haven for abusers to live; an abuser will be quick to point out that your actions of disobedience aren’t biblical.

Because of our lack of ability as people to follow His Spirit, God created a list of rules for us to follow. The rules are meant to point us to Him.

Heb 10:1 For the Law, since it has [only] a shadow of the good things to come [and] not the very form of things, can never, by the same sacrifices, which they offer continually year by year, make perfect those who draw near. NASB

Like the Pharisees of old, Legalistic Abusers hide themselves behind scriptural rules and are quick to point out an infraction of the law. They are totally oblivious to the fact that the abused have been crying out to God for protection from them. The abused is the one that is close to the Father’s heart. From my experience the abused is the one who has been following the Spirit of God and does not dabble in biblical technicalities.

Remember going to school as a young child? And you were told to color within the lines? That was meant as a guideline to help you mature. Do those same rules apply to you today? Maybe; maybe not! Depends on what you are trying to achieve. Does the rule of staying within the lines have less value now? Certainly not! That rule might have helped shape you into a beautiful artist. If you are terrible at being an artist, maybe you should go back to square one and color within the lines to learn how to be an artist. If someone is still coloring within the lines, do they have the authority and knowledge to give advice to an accomplished artist? The artist would be foolish to listen to a first grader wouldn’t he? Yet for some reason legalistic abusers today are given authority over others in the same manner. It sounds insane doesn’t it?

How do you combat abuse? Yes I said combat; you must take off your church dress and prepare for battle.

Here are some responses I want you to say when confronted by your abuser.

A = abuser…because that’s what he is V = victim…because that’s what you are


1. Your not being biblical
2. So what, I’m not playing bible with you anymore



1. Your not being submissive
2. Your right, I’m not doing that anymore



1. Your not being understanding
2. Good, because that’s worked real well in the past hasn’t it.



1. If you were a loving wife…
2. Blah blah blah, go away!


These responses are meant to infuse you with the right attitude. You have to grab hold of the “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore” attitude. You cannot play church anymore. Remember Christ came against the Pharisees with the same attitude. Wouldn’t you rather be Christ-like instead of church-like?

I hope that you can see the common thread and grasp the need for quick cutting answers.
You cannot allow yourself to engage in intellectual, compassionate, understanding conversations. He will spin you like a top and spit you out. Do not engage the enemy because that’s what he has become. I cannot stress this enough! Do not engage him.

Feel free to ask for help in your battle.



Douglas Burrell