Rapid Fire Talking

26 Feb 2010


Being accustomed to being around inmates for over 23 years, I have become an expert on ‘manipulative tactics’ and the people who wield them. One of these tactics heavily used by manipulators from all walks of life is what I call ‘Rapid Fire Talking.’ My wife refers to it in her book “Why Is He So Mean To Me?” as jeopardizing the conversation.

Salesman, con artist, and abusers employ this tactic heavily to confuse their victim. If you are going to win in this battle for freedom from abuse you must take away this tool from the abuser.

Lets’ analyze ‘Rapid Fire Talking’ –


1. The abuser is direct and fast
2. He brings up several topics quickly, one after another
3. Soon he becomes accusatory


What has this done to the victim –?


You are trying to be rational, objective and respectful
Soon you have forgotten many of the points that he has brought up, and because of his fast tongue you do not respond to many of the topics
Your lack of response to any one topic means that he presumes his view point is correct


So what do you do to protect yourself? First of all you must either commit to get dirty doing this or stay the victim, you must decide


You must do whatever it takes to control the pace of the conversation
 Always stop him after each topic and demand that he allow you to respond
 Of course he wont and will continue with the RFT
 You must walk away and separate yourself physically from him for a couple hours if possible. Do not answer your cell phone. Go to Starbucks and re-gather yourself


 You must be consistent and in charge
 Go home and re-engage and answer only the first topic he brought up
 Ask him what was the second thing he said and then stop him after he tells you

 Now tell him that you will get back to him later in the day. He will of course hate this and demand that you answer now or what time will you answer
 Do not let him paint you in a corner. Tell him you will answer when you are ready
Repeat this process over and over


There is no reason to answer any of his questions until you have thought about them
Remember, no conversation requires an immediate response unless you are in a life and death situation



This is only one element of dealing with an abuser. My wife covers much more in her book, and you need to prepare yourself on all fronts.

I know that this sounds very hard to do with someone you’re supposed to love and respect and I am drawing from my experience with dealing with felons, but the techniques used by the abusers are exactly the same. If you follow this advise coupled with the information in “Why is he so mean to me” you will be following a road to your freedom and recovery.


Doug Burrell